I did a thing
I did a thing.
A thing I’ve wanted now for nearly a decade.
For those of you that know me well, my journey into motherhood was a complicated road that began with immense struggle. For as common as Postpartum Depression is–what is NOT common is to talk about it. Within a few weeks of becoming a new mother I found myself having thoughts and feelings that I had never once heard any other mother describe feeling. I felt alone. I felt scared. I felt angry. And most of all, I felt crazy. I kept it all bottled up inside for waaaaay too long, convinced that something was surely wrong with me.
It wasn’t until my son was nearly 3 that I began sharing what I had gone through with my husband, one or two close friends, and my therapist. Fast forward a dozen years and I have grown a LOT. And as much as I wish my journey into motherhood had been a smoother road – I also know that I would not be where and who I am today had I been given an easier path. That feels crystal clear to me and for that I have immense gratitude.
And all of that is what this tattoo is about for me. An ever-unfolding rose to remind me that there is no ultimate destination that I am seeking, but rather the cultivation of presence for each golden stepping stone that continues to unfold before me and will for the rest of my life. A cedar bough for my son. An aster for my girl. And a raven feather for the sacred union of my marriage.
For those of you who have held my hand along the way, thank you.